In the 1970s, the Jaguar S-Type was the get-away car of choice for Bank robbers. Watch any episode of the Sweeney if you don’t believe me. Thankfully, we don’t seem to get old fashioned ‘blags’ like that anymore. But if I was going to stage a bank robbery, I would use the Kia Magentis.
Am I saying the Magentis is the modern Jaguar S-Type? Not really. What I am saying is the Kia has a number of excellent attributes that lend themselves to blagging (and other more conventional vocations).
Firstly, in the witness statements, no one would be able to identify it. You see very few on the road and the styling is the definition of understated. Infact, people can walk past it parked in the street and moments later, swear blind there was no car there. This ‘invisibility’ means low prices on the used market (no image means no desire) and you are unlikely to see the door panels keyed if you park in city back streets.
It has an enormous boot, for storing large bags of swag. Or for holiday luggage. Four large adults can sit comfortably. Rear legroom is good and although headroom is a little tight for the very tall, it is no worse than the new Mondeo or Renault Laguna.
The radio, whilst easy to use and producing an excellent sound quality, is now very dated. Even though JVC make it especially for Kia, it is not tailored; it is a different shade of grey-black to the rest of the dashboard and looked like it was fitted in a rush. It sounds unimportant but it was an eyesore and compromised the otherwise high quality of the cabin. However it looks like it could pick up Police frequencies…
Which will be very handy during the post-bank-job chase. As will the ever-brilliant Kia engines. They are ‘pokey,’ refined and economical. The gear ratios mean you never want for acceleration, which makes changing lanes in city environments is very easy.
The steering is light and precise through sweeping corners, encouraging surprising confidence. On the motorway or dual carriageway, the engine is appropriately quiet and powerful. There was a little too much road noise on some surfaces, but wind noise levels were low.
The steering lock, visibility and sensible dimensions mean it was easier to park and manoeuvre than a Vauxhall Vectra or Renault Laguna. Surprisingly it also had parking sensors. Surprising, because, to look around the cabin you would be forgiven for thinking it had no gadgets.
Have you ever arrived home unable to remember big chunks of the journey? Never happens in the Magentis. There is so little to look at inside, you gaze out of the lovely big windows all the time and see things you’ve never noticed before. Even the speedo and rev counter are the plainest I have ever seen. So plain that they are beneath description.
But, don’t let me mislead you. Whilst you can’t see the gadgets, it is overflowing with them: Parking sensors all round, electric windows all round, air conditioning, heated seats, electric mirrors, leather upholstery, CD player, cruise control… I could go on. But it is all done without any digital screens or illuminated dials so you don’t know its there.
There aren’t even any little light bulbs. The heated seats, a favourite for natty little illuminations in any other car are just tiny little wheels tucked away at the bottom of the dashboard. Turn them on and they look the same as when they are off.
I am not overstating the vanilla feel of the cabin. Normally, when a friend gets into a test car they instantly become a motoring critic. They trip over their words, so keen are they to share their observation about some small element of the motor.
But in the Magenits, I actually had to ask for opinions. That’s unheard of. And the best bit is, even when I asked people, they were speechless. They glanced about, opened their mouths, but no words came out. So they closed them again.
Which means that they didn’t notice the build quality. So it was neither bad nor amazing. It is actually similar to Nissan, which is proving to be robust and reliable at present. In short, this is one of the best value nearly new-cars on the market.
Summary
If you shop an Uniqlo for their great value, unbranded clothes, you will love the Magentis. If you are shy and just want to be left in peace, the Magentis is your kindred spirit. If you give people lifts to the airport or carry a lot of equipment up and down motorways for work, this is the horse you have been looking for. Especially as you can own one for the same money as the smaller, less-well-equipped Kia Cee’d.
Road test car details:
Kia Magentis
2.0 CRDi GS 4dr
OTR: £ 15,645
MPG: 47.1
0-62: 11.7secs
Co2 g/KM: 162