AS NEIL Diamond once warbled - what a beautiful noise.
Turn the key of the MG ZR 160 and the rumble of the tweaked 1.8 VVC engine is volcanic, the atmosphere electric as you consider risking the accelerator.
It's the anticipation experienced before a rollercoaster dives down the first slope. The thrill of the unknown. The danger associated with pure speed.
Then bam - you're pressed back into the seat for the ride of your life.There's no rush with hush in this car. With a 0-60mph time of 7.4 seconds and a top speed of 131mph it's pure dynamite on the road.
The ZR 160 is a sassy individual. It has a zest for life in the fast lane with the spoilers and skirts to prove it. But Rover's engineers know that speed without control is deadly. They provide excellent tools to tame the beast under the bonnet.
It may be based on the Rover 25, but the ZR leaves that model trailing in its dust cloud. It provides top class handling and ride from a revised chassis - plus 17-inch alloy wheels - making the car as sure-footed in corners as a cheetah with velcro paws.
The interior has been jazzed up with body-hugging sports seats and silver instrument faces. But in truth, these creature comforts will be the last thing on your mind when the engine growls.
You may have guessed that along with most of the male population, I have a soft spot for hot hatches. As a callow youth, I raced around the streets in a friend's RS 2000. Another pal had a souped up Fiesta. It was a time of testing the limits of speed and reflexes. I look back at that time and shiver with relief that I remained in one piece and not bent round a tree.
I also learnt a survival technique that has served me well over the years. Give these vehicles a very wide berth on the road when being driven by anybody with spots.
Before insurance premiums made it cheaper to buy a hotel rather than a hot hatch, these cars were a right of passage, normally to hospital, for young men. But now with cars like the MG ZR 160 costing more than £14,000, and insurance for an 18-year-old starting at £1.3m, this is a car that will never be driven by the people who would enjoy it most. And, as every A&E worker will tell you, thank the Lord Harry for that.
The ZR is available with either three or five doors, and despite the bigger sports seats in front it still offers fair cabin room for four adults, though more modern minis are perhaps roomier. The boot is relatively spacious but has quite a narrow opening and wheel arch intrusions.
However when all's said and done this is a driver's car, not a family friendly transporter.
It's the motor industry's answer to plastic surgery - it took years off me when I got behind the wheel. Perhaps Joan Collins should buy one and save herself a few bob...
FAST FACTS
Rover MG ZR 160
Price: £14,660
Mechanical: 160bhp, 1,796cc, petrol engine driving front wheels via 5spd gearbox
Max Speed: 131mph
0-60mph: 7.4 secs
Combined mpg: 37.6
Insurance group: 16D
CO2 emissions: 179g/km
BiK: 19%
Warranty: 3yrs/ 60,000 miles; 6yrs anti-rust; 3yrs paint