THIS has been Darwin's 200th year and I often wonder what he would make of the 21st century human animal.
Almost certainly he would have been amazed that so many creationists still think mankind is a 6,000 year old product of God's Etch A Sketch. In America these are known as Republicans and don't believe we should do anything about Earth's ecological fate, because it is none of our Goddamn business.
They could have a point. Without calamity spawning adaptation Darwin may well have finished his work shortly after lunch on day one.
As it turns out what he would encounter is homo lifestylus.
It may appear potato mankind simply vegetates in front of theTV, watching documentaries about toenail cancer, but more and more are getting stuck into nature's ample bosom via cycling, canoeing and general cagoule fancying.
In such circumstances good sense dictates a robust 4x4 to be the right car, but that would be the last act of a social lemming. An acceptable choice is one that confirms at a glance you don't actually care as much about cars as you do about couscous. A car shaped to have the acceleration of coastal erosion. The sort of car people believe will ensure your great-great grandchildren will not grow flippers.
Costing a socially responsible £14,000, the six-speed 106bhp diesel Renault Kangoo Expression comes complete with rear loft storage and little aircraft-style tables in the backs of its seats. Consumption is a frugal 50mpg and band F tax £125, making the Kangoo almost vegetarian.
On the road it is just about able to keep up with traffic but handles like a car and has a composed ride by virtue of sharing Scenic underpinnings.
None of which is as important as what happens inside.
With genetic roots in the plumbing trade, the Kangoo is a 3,000-litre cave. However, unlike most caves it has seats and these fold easily into a vast, flat load space.
There is plenty of safety and urban living equipment like parking sensors and multiple air bags as well as electric windows and mirrors. No one is going to get excited about the view from the driver's seat - all the things you need are there, but none you don't.
But storage. Ah, now you're talking. It would be easy to lose an Amazonian tribe in here. There are more pouches than a kangaroo farm, more storage compartments than a shoplifter's overcoat.
And because it is French, there's even a 'smoker pack.'
As for the future, if in two or three hundred years the ecological collapse and mass extinction circus comes to town, according to the University of California, a few hundred thousand survivors will eek out a Stone Age existence.
What about the shiny motor car then, eh? What of its evolution?
Think wooden chassis, granite wheels and owners called Fred and Wilma. Yabbadabadoo!