Inside me there is a dull person, just waiting to break out. For the last 10 years I have only ever owned GT cars and been unable to resist wasting money on the latest restaurants and bars. I have been trying very hard to be cool, you see.
But when I see a Passat, it speaks to the quiet voice inside me, who remembers when I was a shy, tubby little boy. And that little boy is relieved – not excited, he doesn’t really do excited – that at last I am considering something safe and stress-free.
Stress-free because it is impossible to image speeding in a Passat. It is unlikely that it will break in a dramatic way and if it does it seems unlikely that it will cost too much to fix. The last part may be a myth, but this is undeniably the aura the conventional Passat saloon gives off.
Stepping inside, we find more plainness. Nice plastics, clear, soft-touch buttons, but absolutely no design flair. No sense of fun. But what did we expect? Nothing else.
It’s like a provincial Solicitor or Accountant – the sort of chap who still wears a tie. Indeed, I suspect that is who mainly drives the Passat. For they will no doubt like the easy-to-park nature of the Passat’s light steering. As they commute into the City of their practise they will be pleased by the equally light clutch and easy-gear change; this just car slips into your life and doesn’t over-step its mark.
The big boot and folding rear seats allow for carrying Christmas trees, John Lewis (not flimsy Ikea furniture) furniture or prunings from the Garden rose bushes – no matter how big your garden is.
If the weekend requires a long motorway journey, the Passat will deliver happily for you. In an unremarkable way. Which isn’t cool, but it is quite nice really.
What’s the market like?
Nearly new, top of the range Passat saloons and estates are on the market for nearly £28,000, but really this is more a £25,000 car. Which actually makes it a cheap new car in this class, competing more with the Ford Mondeo than the BMW 5-Series. Which from a brand point of view, is below it’s class.
This low price point doesn’t stop it losing around half its value over 2 years, making cars with 35,000 miles on the clock available for under £12,000. And it’s these price points that really give you a reason to buy the Passat – it’s cheap to buy.
Sadly the prices keep falling pretty heavily until year five, so it’s not really thrifty in that you can’t avoid further depreciation: if you buy a £12,000 2 year old 2.0 diesel you will only get £7,000 back three years later.
Summary
A traditionally understated, quality car that is cheap to buy.